June 21-- Q: You and your boyfriend are having dinner with one of your girlfriends. Is it rude for him not to pay for her meal too?
This situation depends on how everyone came together. If you and your girl are out for lunch and your boyfriend stops by, it would be a nice gesture for him to pick up the tab for both of you.
If you, your man and your friend all chose a time and place together, then this is a group outing and your boyfriend should not feel obligated to pay for your friend; people usually pay for themselves in group outings. Now, it would be different if your boyfriend offered to take you and your friend out-then he must pay because he's the host.
Your friend shouldn't expect your man to pay for her just because he's the only male. In that case, she would be assuming too much, and expecting someone else's man to take care of her.
In this instance, paying is a nice gesture, not an obligation. It definitely would not be a social faux pas if your boyfriend didn't pay, nor should it make him lose any "boyfriend points."
-Elaine Swann, lifestyle and etiquette expert
The expectation of your boyfriend paying is really gauging if he cares about your friend, but he can show that he cares about her in other ways than paying for her meal.
He should invest in your friend through his actions during dinner by being present in the moment and actively listening. He should be genuinely interested in getting to know her too. Putting in the time to connect with her is the best compliment he could pay her and shows much more respect and compassion than buying a meal.
By him paying for your friend, it comes off as flaunting his money or trying to suck up to her. It makes it seem like he needs to offer something additional for her to like him.
-Nick Notas, male dating and confidence consultant
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